“unfortunately” by Susana Rodriguez

after tonight my genitals
will be blue, bruised up
instead of pink, the default
color of brand new flesh

my pussy has its own gender
reveal party every night
depending on how aggressive
i am towards my body

i tell strangers upon meeting
for the first time that there’s
something they should know
about me—i only have two moods:
sad and horny

and because i’m depressed
i stay in bed all day,
masturbate in the same
tired ass position,
ignoring my needs to urinate
in between orgasms,
pressing down on my clit
repeatedly as if doing so
will win a prize of some sort

psychologically, masturbation
is the most rewarding activity
i partake in on a daily basis

and yes, i am not like those other girls
whose pulse rate soars when their
notifications are filled with likes

i am a girl whose pussy throbs
when i open a new tab
incognito mode

Susana Rodriguez (She/her)
Susana Rodriguez is a writer from Chino, California. She is currently depressed and homeless. Her poetry can be found in Rejection Letters. You can find her on Instagram @thekoolaidqueen.